I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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