opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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