How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
