Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Someone signed my nipple.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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