Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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