I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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