think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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