you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
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I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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