What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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