I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
