you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
