Well douche your snatch and let's go!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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