okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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