I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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