tell your sister to shave her snatch
I should be sponsored by Trojan
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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