i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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