i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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