saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
