Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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