So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
