No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
