Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
