He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
