Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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