how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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