omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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