I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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