Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
