ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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