After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
