The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
