They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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