I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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