They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
