I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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