Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
