What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
