I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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