he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
