i just had sex bonerless
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
