Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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