You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
