Acid is not a monday night drug
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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