Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
