If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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