I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
