What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
