my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize