it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize