Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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