Sry I called you an 8
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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