and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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