it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
