We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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