ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
