I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my nose is crying tears of wow.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize