When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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