I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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