And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
