Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
we should paint friendship bongs
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
