I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
